Dave
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  • Never catch snowflakes with your tongue until all the birds have gone south for the winter.
    Let's ALL be naughty this year and save Santa the trip!
    Sargent¥
    Sargent¥
    Actually, Santa gives coal to naughty kids so if we're all naughty, that just makes his trip harder.
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    You can tell Santa is a man, because no woman would ever wear the same outfit every year.
    FYI: By the end of the Twelve Days of Christmas song, your home is crammed with 23 flying Birds and 50 hyperactive Humans.
    A cute thing I tell my kids is that if you fart on Santa's lap, he's required by North Pole law to bring you two of everything you ask for.
    Tis the season to awkwardly walk by someone ringing a bell.
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    Shula
    Shula
    Don't make eye contact, don't make eye contact...shit. Awkard stare and head nod.
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    Defibyoulater
    Defibyoulater
    I can't help but to give them money every time damn it.
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    Making mistakes is human, to blame it on somebody else shows management potential.
    The best way to lie is to tell the truth, carefully edited truth.
    Sharky!
    Sharky!
    It's not a lie if you kill everyone who heard it.
    Call your dad now and ask him what the wifi password is so he has time to find the little paper it's written on before Thanksgiving.
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