I am going to steal this question to help you with your situation!
1: Congratulation, you are now fully a supportive figure for mankind; please for the love of god wear a condom or else you will pay her for the next 18 years! You shall now bask in the glory of your muscularity.

1 ½: ...Oh god, what?

Oh, people still do that?
 
A basket of Mariestads and then plaster Göteborg FF decals all over the thing.

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?
 
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this guy rakes in pussy you people listen to him now he knows what hes talking about