Tomatketchup's Relationship Advice

[Tomatketchup]

Hi guys. As you might know, I'm an stunning example of manliness. If you ever say someone's the man and you're not refering to me, I'll personally come to your house, grab you by the neck and slam your head into the wall and then throw you out the window. And then your house will explode for no reason other than that I threw you out the window.

Since I feel bad for you small people, I decided I could come with relationship advice, since I know you guys crave it so much all the time. So just ask on and I'll answer with my infinite wisdom and fist.

 

[mittens]

You giving relationship advice is like Stephen Hawking giving tips to athletes.

 

[Maddo]

Is it ok to dump a woman by text?

 

[Tomatketchup]

You giving relationship advice is like Stephen Hawking giving tips to athletes.

And you ever getting laid is like Stephen Hawking giving tips to athletes.

 

[Tomatketchup]

Is it ok to dump a woman by text?

Only if the stadium's text is big enough for your woman to see.

 

[aT. Wic']

What do you think about sex before marriage?

 

[Tomatketchup]

What do you think about sex before marriage?

If the woman isn't hot, then I think you should wait 'til "after marriage".

 

[wasd]

what are your moves to get laid on the first date?

 

[Maddo]

what are your moves to get laid on the first date?

inb4 chloroform and rope.

 

[Tomatketchup]

what are your moves to get laid on the first date?

My first move is to not ask someone out on a date to begin with, just get laid with your good appearance. Since you're a girl, you shouldn't have any problems with this step at all.

inb4 chloroform and rope.

Don't be silly, I'm a gentleman.

 

[VEGAN DAD]

how does it feel giving out dating advice as a virgin?

 

[Tomatketchup]

how does it feel giving out dating advice as a virgin?

Good, knowing I do it better than the rest of you guys.

 

[A very unexpected anal]

What's a good first date?

 

[Tomatketchup]

What's a good first date?

My first move is to not ask someone out on a date to begin with, just get laid with your good appearance.

But if you just had to go out on a date, a good date would be one involving pints and a victory for Göteborg FF.

 

[PsychoRealm]

Tomatketchup's Relationship Advice...

... From 15 yo lonely wanker who has no idea how vagina looks like in reality. Awesome. Just awesome.

 

[Tomatketchup]

... From 15 yo lonely wanker who has no idea how vagina looks like in reality. Awesome. Just awesome.

3 out of 4 wrong, go home Psycho you're dumb.

 

[Truth Seeker]

Remember when you told me that you have never made love to a woman before, and that you were too much of a pussy to fuck your sister?

 

[Tomatketchup]

and that you were too much of a pussy to fuck your sister?

what

 

[PsychoRealm]

3 out of 4 wrong, go home Psycho you're dumb.

You wish. The fact you want to have a gf doesn't mean you have/had one. Wanker.

 

[Tomatketchup]

You wish. The fact you want to have a gf doesn't mean you have/had one. Wanker.

Why would I want a girlfriend anyway, the only thing in my life that matters is my love for Göteborg FF and pint.