Bad to be a 2fort lurker?

So this is largely a ranting post, so apologies in advance for it coming off as slightly rambling.

The context behind all this rambling is that I'm a fairly longtime player of TF2, but one who regularly takes months/year breaks from it, and recently returned to it out of a sense of nostalgia and missing the quirkiness. This return however has been a pretty damned rough experience. Queue the rambling.

I'll be honest in that I've never been particularly great at the game but was always passable. This return to the game though has it like I'm a first day Gibus wearer in a competitive match. I cannot seem to find a community server that isn't incredibly one-sided to one team and it either ends with me not getting to do anything cause my teammates are rolling them like paper, or I can barely leave spawn before getting deleted from existence. The Uncletopia servers in partiacular have been hell in this regard.

I'm aware that a good chunk of players are going to have 1000+ hours on TF2 over its 15 year life span so naturally the skill gap is going to be insane, but it feels even more egregious than ever. I really want to practice and get better at the game, but all my attempts have just been exercises in frustration and depression.

lately, as the title states, I've just ended up lurking in a Skial 2fort server for a few hours and goofing off. Its fun to me as I can get frags pretty fairly in 1v1s and generally have fun with the nonsense going on. Though this is a bit of lurking guilt I suppose. I'm not really "playing" TF2 if I'm just lurking in a 2fort and goofing off right? I'll never actually get better at the game that way.

I dunno what the overall point of this post is. Perhaps I'll find a group of folks to play with and actually get to play some normal matches and not get instantly deleted lol.

Author: EchoV3