Zack
Scarcely Lethal Noob
fat
: Your mom is so fat, when she goes to the beach, people yell out, "Whale Sighting!"
* Your mom is so fat, she lay on the beach and people run around yelling Free Willy.
* Your mom is so fat, she influences the tides.
* Your mom is so fat, whenever she goes to the beach the tide comes in.
* Your mom is so fat, she has her own zip code.
* Your mom is so fat, she lives in two time zones.
* Your mom is so fat, it takes a train to get on her good side.
* Your mom is so fat, that when I tried to drive around her I ran out of gas.
* Your mom is so fat, people jog around her for exercise.
* Your mom is so fat, whenever she turns around they throw a welcome-back party.
* Your mom is so fat, every time she turns around its her birthday.
* Your mom is so fat, she jumps up in the air and gets stuck.
* Your mom is so fat, when she jumps she ends up in Australia.
* Your mom is so fat, she can't even jump to a conclusion.
* Your mom is so fat, she plays hopscotch like this: California, Nevada, Arizona…
* Your mom is so fat, when she tripped over on 4th Ave she landed on 12th.
* Your mom is so fat, when she dances the band skips.
* Your mom is so fat, she went on a date with high heels on and came back with sandals.
* Your mom is so fat, every time she walks in high heels, she strikes oil.
* Your mom is so fat, she stepped on a dollar and got change.
* Your mom is so fat, when she steps on a scale it reads, "One at a time, please."
* Your mom is so fat, when she steps on a scale it reads, "To be continued."
* Your mom is so fat, she stepped on a talking scale and it told her to get the fuck off.
* Your mom is so fat, she thought gravy was a beverage.
* Your mom is so fat, I took her to dinner and the waitress took her order in shorthand
* Your mom is so fat, when she goes to a restaurant she doesn't get a menu, she gets an estimate.
* Your mom is so fat, she went to the salad bar and pulled up a chair.
* Your mom is so fat, when the bitch goes to an all you can eat buffet they have to install speed bumps.
* Your mom is so fat, she goes to a restaurant, looks at the menu and says, "Okay!"
* Your mom is so fat, she broke her leg and gravy poured out.
* Your mom is so fat, her blood type is Ragu.
* Your mom is so fat, the only wiener she'll ever get is a hot dog.
* Your mom is so fat, her first love was Krispy Kreme.
* Your mom is so fat, she uses the Eiffel Tower as a tooth pick.
* Your mom is so fat, she has to use a satellite dish as a Cereal bowl.
* Your mom is so fat, she thinks that Niagara Falls is a drinking fountain.
* Your mom is so fat, McDonald's set up shop in her house.
* Your mom is so fat, her best friends are Ronald McDonald, Burger King and Betty Crocker.
* Your mom is so fat, when she wears a yellow raincoat, people call out to her, "Taxi!"
* Your mom is so fat, when she wears a yellow coat she looks like a school bus.
* Your mom is so fat, she has an sign on her back that says "wide load".
* Your mom is so fat, when she got hit by a bus, she said, "Who threw that rock?"
* Your mom is so fat, she sets off car alarms when she runs.
* Your mom is so fat, when her beeper goes off people think she’s backing up.
* Your mom is so fat, she bungee jumps and falls straight to Hell.
* Your mom is so fat, when she bungee jumps she pulls down the bridge too.
* Your mom is so fat, when she walks into a bar the ceiling fan falls down.
* Your mom is so fat, they use her underwear elastic for bungee jumping.
* Your mom is so fat, when they used her underwear elastic for bungee jumping, they hit the ground.
* Your mom is so fat, even the AIDS quilt wouldn't cover her.
* Your mom is so fat, she has a run in her blue-jeans.
* Your mom is so fat, she uses hula hoops to hold up her socks.
* Your mom is so fat, when she took her dress to the cleaner they said, "Sorry, but we don't do curtains."
* Your mom is so fat, she's got to iron her pants on the driveway.
* Your mom is so fat, she has to wear Levi’s 1002s.
* Your mom is so fat, when she wears white, she looks like the Michelin man.
* Your mom is so fat, when she wears red, she looks like the Kool-Aid man.
* Your mom is so fat, when she wears an "X" helicopters land on her.
* Your mom is so fat, she's got to pull down her pants to get into her pockets.
* Your mom is so fat, she can't reach her back pocket.
* Your mom is so fat, she puts on her lipstick with a paint-roller.
* Your mom is so fat, she needs a boomerang to put her belt on.
* Your mom is so fat, she was floating in the ocean and Spain claimed her for the New World.
* Your mom is so fat, we get a drought every time she takes a shower.
* Your mom is so fat, she had to go to Sea World to get baptized.
* Your mom is so fat, she uses the Freeway as a Slip ’n’ Slide.
* Your mom is so fat, she’s still waiting for someone to fill the Grand Canyon so she can take a bath.
* Your mom is so fat, they have to grease the bath tub to get her out.
* Your mom is so fat, you have to grease the door frame and hold a twinkie on the other side just to get her through
* Your mom is so fat, she went to Disneyland and got group discounts.
* Your mom is so fat, Santa asked her to cover for him.
* Your mom is so fat, when she sits around the house, she literally sits AROUND the house.
* Your mom is so fat, every time she walks her butt claps.
* Your mom is so fat, she's on both sides of the family.
* Your mom is so fat, when she falls out of bed she falls on both sides.
* Your mom is so fat, her will states that she wants to be donated to Ripley's Believe It or Not.
* Your mom is so fat, you need a Thomas Guide to find her asshole.
* Your mom is so fat, when she walked past the television, I missed Scary Movie 1, 2 AND 3.
* Your mom is so fat, she got stuck in the garage.
* Your mom is so fat, when she was a kid she could only play seek.
* Your mom is so fat, it took five UFOs to abduct her.
* Your mom is so fat, we're in her right now.
* Your mom is so fat, she went to the movies and sat next to everyone.
* Your mom is so fat, when you get on top of her your ears pop.
* Your mom is so fat, when she has sex she has to give directions.
* Your mom is so fat, she wakes up in sections.
* Your mom is so fat, when she goes to an amusement park people try to ride HER.
* Your mom is so fat, she's got more chins than a Hong Kong phone book.
* Your mom is so fat, that her senior pictures had to be arial views.
* Your mom is so fat, she has to buy two airline tickets.
* Your mom is so fat, when she fell over she rocked herself asleep trying to get up again.
* Your mom is so fat, the only pictures you have of her are satellite pictures.
* Your mom is so fat, they tie a rope around her shoulders and drag her through a tunnel when they want to clean it.
* Your mom is so fat, that when she was born, she gave the hospital stretch marks.
* Your mom is so fat, the National Weather Agency has to assign names to her farts.
* Your mom is so fat, she was Miss Arizona...class Battleship.
Hairiness:* Your mom is so hairy, that when you were born you got rug burn.
* Your mom is so hairy, they took her to the museum and put her on display as the woolly mammoth.
* Your mom is so hairy, she went to a Star Wars convention and the nerds kept asking her for Chewy's autograph.
* Your mom is so hairy, when she shaved her ass, she lost ten pounds!
* Your mom is so hairy, her nipples have afros.
* Your mom is so hairy, before Halloween, everyone thought she was Cousin Itt.
* Your mom is so hairy, she makes the wolf man look like a puppy.
* Your mom is so hairy, she has to brush her armpit hair.
* Your mom is so hairy, she tucks her pubes in her socks.
* Your mom is so hairy, it took them three years just to shave off enough hair to see her face.
* Your mom is so poor that I rang your doorbell and she shouted "DING-DONG!"
Poor:
* Your mom is so poor that she can't even pay attention.
* Your mom is so poor that at her funeral, she had to give up her casket in order to pay.
* Your mom is so poor that when she wants a gumball she has to put it on layaway.
* Your mom is so poor she eats cereal with a fork to save milk
* Your mom is so poor, I saw her kicking a can and I asked her what she was doing and she said "Moving".
:confused:
Gothiness:*Your mom is so goth that she makes Happy Meals cry.
* Your mom is so goth that when she had a sore throat, everyone thought she was a mime.
* Your mom is so goth that she shits bats.
* Your mom is so goth that when she walks outside, the sun hides behind the moon.
* Your mom is so goth that she sleeps in a coffin.
* Your mom is so goth that the only game she plays is Vampire.
* Your mom is so goth that when she went through a hip hop phase she became Wesley Snipes.
* Your mom is so goth she doesn't even talk
* Your mom is so goth she makes niggers look like they got dipped in Grammy's ol' tyme cum batter.
* Your mom is so goth she makes Dracula look like a fucking princess.
* Your mom is so goth that Van Helsing thought she was a vampire and shot her.
* Your mom is so goth she painted her eyelids so black, now she's blind.
* Who the fuck has a goth for a mother?
Number2 poor:Yo mama so poor when I went to rob her house i went in the front door and tripped out the back.
Yo mama so poor when I saw her kicking a can down the street, I asked her what she was doing, she said "Moving."
Yo mama so poor she can't afford to pay attention!
Yo mama so poor when I ring the doorbell I hear the toilet flush!
Yo mama so poor when she goes to KFC, she has to lick other people's fingers!
Yo mama so poor when I ring the doorbell she says,"DING!"
Yo mama so poor she went to McDonald's and put a milkshake on layaway.
Yo mama so poor your family ate cereal with a fork to save milk.
Yo mama so poor her face is on the front of a foodstamp.
Yo mama so poor she was in K-Mart with a box of Hefty bags. I said, "What ya doin'?" She said, "Buying luggage."
Yo mama so poor she drives a peanut.
Yo mama so poor she waves around a popsicle stick and calls it air conditioning.
Yo mama so poor she has the ducks throw bread at her!
Yo mama so poor she uses curtains as blankets!
: Your mom is so fat, when she goes to the beach, people yell out, "Whale Sighting!" * Your mom is so fat, she lay on the beach and people run around yelling Free Willy.
* Your mom is so fat, she influences the tides.
* Your mom is so fat, whenever she goes to the beach the tide comes in.
* Your mom is so fat, she has her own zip code.
* Your mom is so fat, she lives in two time zones.
* Your mom is so fat, it takes a train to get on her good side.
* Your mom is so fat, that when I tried to drive around her I ran out of gas.
* Your mom is so fat, people jog around her for exercise.
* Your mom is so fat, whenever she turns around they throw a welcome-back party.
* Your mom is so fat, every time she turns around its her birthday.
* Your mom is so fat, she jumps up in the air and gets stuck.
* Your mom is so fat, when she jumps she ends up in Australia.
* Your mom is so fat, she can't even jump to a conclusion.
* Your mom is so fat, she plays hopscotch like this: California, Nevada, Arizona…
* Your mom is so fat, when she tripped over on 4th Ave she landed on 12th.
* Your mom is so fat, when she dances the band skips.
* Your mom is so fat, she went on a date with high heels on and came back with sandals.
* Your mom is so fat, every time she walks in high heels, she strikes oil.
* Your mom is so fat, she stepped on a dollar and got change.
* Your mom is so fat, when she steps on a scale it reads, "One at a time, please."
* Your mom is so fat, when she steps on a scale it reads, "To be continued."
* Your mom is so fat, she stepped on a talking scale and it told her to get the fuck off.
* Your mom is so fat, she thought gravy was a beverage.
* Your mom is so fat, I took her to dinner and the waitress took her order in shorthand
* Your mom is so fat, when she goes to a restaurant she doesn't get a menu, she gets an estimate.
* Your mom is so fat, she went to the salad bar and pulled up a chair.
* Your mom is so fat, when the bitch goes to an all you can eat buffet they have to install speed bumps.
* Your mom is so fat, she goes to a restaurant, looks at the menu and says, "Okay!"
* Your mom is so fat, she broke her leg and gravy poured out.
* Your mom is so fat, her blood type is Ragu.
* Your mom is so fat, the only wiener she'll ever get is a hot dog.
* Your mom is so fat, her first love was Krispy Kreme.
* Your mom is so fat, she uses the Eiffel Tower as a tooth pick.
* Your mom is so fat, she has to use a satellite dish as a Cereal bowl.
* Your mom is so fat, she thinks that Niagara Falls is a drinking fountain.
* Your mom is so fat, McDonald's set up shop in her house.
* Your mom is so fat, her best friends are Ronald McDonald, Burger King and Betty Crocker.
* Your mom is so fat, when she wears a yellow raincoat, people call out to her, "Taxi!"
* Your mom is so fat, when she wears a yellow coat she looks like a school bus.
* Your mom is so fat, she has an sign on her back that says "wide load".
* Your mom is so fat, when she got hit by a bus, she said, "Who threw that rock?"
* Your mom is so fat, she sets off car alarms when she runs.
* Your mom is so fat, when her beeper goes off people think she’s backing up.
* Your mom is so fat, she bungee jumps and falls straight to Hell.
* Your mom is so fat, when she bungee jumps she pulls down the bridge too.
* Your mom is so fat, when she walks into a bar the ceiling fan falls down.
* Your mom is so fat, they use her underwear elastic for bungee jumping.
* Your mom is so fat, when they used her underwear elastic for bungee jumping, they hit the ground.
* Your mom is so fat, even the AIDS quilt wouldn't cover her.
* Your mom is so fat, she has a run in her blue-jeans.
* Your mom is so fat, she uses hula hoops to hold up her socks.
* Your mom is so fat, when she took her dress to the cleaner they said, "Sorry, but we don't do curtains."
* Your mom is so fat, she's got to iron her pants on the driveway.
* Your mom is so fat, she has to wear Levi’s 1002s.
* Your mom is so fat, when she wears white, she looks like the Michelin man.
* Your mom is so fat, when she wears red, she looks like the Kool-Aid man.
* Your mom is so fat, when she wears an "X" helicopters land on her.
* Your mom is so fat, she's got to pull down her pants to get into her pockets.
* Your mom is so fat, she can't reach her back pocket.
* Your mom is so fat, she puts on her lipstick with a paint-roller.
* Your mom is so fat, she needs a boomerang to put her belt on.
* Your mom is so fat, she was floating in the ocean and Spain claimed her for the New World.
* Your mom is so fat, we get a drought every time she takes a shower.
* Your mom is so fat, she had to go to Sea World to get baptized.
* Your mom is so fat, she uses the Freeway as a Slip ’n’ Slide.
* Your mom is so fat, she’s still waiting for someone to fill the Grand Canyon so she can take a bath.
* Your mom is so fat, they have to grease the bath tub to get her out.
* Your mom is so fat, you have to grease the door frame and hold a twinkie on the other side just to get her through
* Your mom is so fat, she went to Disneyland and got group discounts.
* Your mom is so fat, Santa asked her to cover for him.
* Your mom is so fat, when she sits around the house, she literally sits AROUND the house.
* Your mom is so fat, every time she walks her butt claps.
* Your mom is so fat, she's on both sides of the family.
* Your mom is so fat, when she falls out of bed she falls on both sides.
* Your mom is so fat, her will states that she wants to be donated to Ripley's Believe It or Not.
* Your mom is so fat, you need a Thomas Guide to find her asshole.
* Your mom is so fat, when she walked past the television, I missed Scary Movie 1, 2 AND 3.
* Your mom is so fat, she got stuck in the garage.
* Your mom is so fat, when she was a kid she could only play seek.
* Your mom is so fat, it took five UFOs to abduct her.
* Your mom is so fat, we're in her right now.
* Your mom is so fat, she went to the movies and sat next to everyone.
* Your mom is so fat, when you get on top of her your ears pop.
* Your mom is so fat, when she has sex she has to give directions.
* Your mom is so fat, she wakes up in sections.
* Your mom is so fat, when she goes to an amusement park people try to ride HER.
* Your mom is so fat, she's got more chins than a Hong Kong phone book.
* Your mom is so fat, that her senior pictures had to be arial views.
* Your mom is so fat, she has to buy two airline tickets.
* Your mom is so fat, when she fell over she rocked herself asleep trying to get up again.
* Your mom is so fat, the only pictures you have of her are satellite pictures.
* Your mom is so fat, they tie a rope around her shoulders and drag her through a tunnel when they want to clean it.
* Your mom is so fat, that when she was born, she gave the hospital stretch marks.
* Your mom is so fat, the National Weather Agency has to assign names to her farts.
* Your mom is so fat, she was Miss Arizona...class Battleship.
Hairiness:* Your mom is so hairy, that when you were born you got rug burn.
* Your mom is so hairy, they took her to the museum and put her on display as the woolly mammoth.
* Your mom is so hairy, she went to a Star Wars convention and the nerds kept asking her for Chewy's autograph.
* Your mom is so hairy, when she shaved her ass, she lost ten pounds!
* Your mom is so hairy, her nipples have afros.
* Your mom is so hairy, before Halloween, everyone thought she was Cousin Itt.
* Your mom is so hairy, she makes the wolf man look like a puppy.
* Your mom is so hairy, she has to brush her armpit hair.
* Your mom is so hairy, she tucks her pubes in her socks.
* Your mom is so hairy, it took them three years just to shave off enough hair to see her face.
* Your mom is so poor that I rang your doorbell and she shouted "DING-DONG!"
Poor:
* Your mom is so poor that she can't even pay attention.
* Your mom is so poor that at her funeral, she had to give up her casket in order to pay.
* Your mom is so poor that when she wants a gumball she has to put it on layaway.
* Your mom is so poor she eats cereal with a fork to save milk
* Your mom is so poor, I saw her kicking a can and I asked her what she was doing and she said "Moving".
:confused:
Gothiness:*Your mom is so goth that she makes Happy Meals cry.
* Your mom is so goth that when she had a sore throat, everyone thought she was a mime.
* Your mom is so goth that she shits bats.
* Your mom is so goth that when she walks outside, the sun hides behind the moon.
* Your mom is so goth that she sleeps in a coffin.
* Your mom is so goth that the only game she plays is Vampire.
* Your mom is so goth that when she went through a hip hop phase she became Wesley Snipes.
* Your mom is so goth she doesn't even talk
* Your mom is so goth she makes niggers look like they got dipped in Grammy's ol' tyme cum batter.
* Your mom is so goth she makes Dracula look like a fucking princess.
* Your mom is so goth that Van Helsing thought she was a vampire and shot her.
* Your mom is so goth she painted her eyelids so black, now she's blind.
* Who the fuck has a goth for a mother?
Number2 poor:Yo mama so poor when I went to rob her house i went in the front door and tripped out the back.
Yo mama so poor when I saw her kicking a can down the street, I asked her what she was doing, she said "Moving."
Yo mama so poor she can't afford to pay attention!
Yo mama so poor when I ring the doorbell I hear the toilet flush!
Yo mama so poor when she goes to KFC, she has to lick other people's fingers!
Yo mama so poor when I ring the doorbell she says,"DING!"
Yo mama so poor she went to McDonald's and put a milkshake on layaway.
Yo mama so poor your family ate cereal with a fork to save milk.
Yo mama so poor her face is on the front of a foodstamp.
Yo mama so poor she was in K-Mart with a box of Hefty bags. I said, "What ya doin'?" She said, "Buying luggage."
Yo mama so poor she drives a peanut.
Yo mama so poor she waves around a popsicle stick and calls it air conditioning.
Yo mama so poor she has the ducks throw bread at her!
Yo mama so poor she uses curtains as blankets!
![[TC]CreepingDeath](/data/avatars/m/0/26.jpg?1352268746){kind=avatar}
