Multiply A Weapon's Stats By Ten

[ViperStriker]

Gentlemann's Treads
+750% reduction is push force taken from damage
Deals 30x falling damage to the player you land on

Pill Popper
+250% faster reloading speed
+500% firing speed
600% clip size
No random critical hits

umad? Milk
Players heal 600% of the damage done to an enemy covered with Milk

The Candy-Coated Pimp Cane
On kill: 10 small health packs are dropped
+250% explosive damage vulnerability on wearer

Livestock Molester 50,000
Drops ammo for allies upon firing
Alt-fire: A charged shot that crits players and disables buildings for 40 sec
100% damage penalty
No random critical hits
50% slower reload time
Deals only 200% damage to buildings
Cannot be crit boosted, even by end round humiliation

Scottish Rapist
+250% faster firing speed
+500% max secondary ammo on wearer
+60 max pipebombs out
Detonates stickybombs right on the crosshair and right on your feet
Able to destroy all enemy projectiles
8 sec slower bomb arm time

 

[Lazlo]

Bottiger should make a server with all of these stats active lol

 

[Phil]

super knife
on successful back stab you win the round.

 

[Da_money125]

super knife
on successful back stab you win the round.

Backstab the sever for 70 times its current heath causing the CPU hosting it to implode.

 

[Phil]

Backstab the sever for 70 times its current heath causing the CPU hosting it to implode.

back stab server - perm ban everyone currently on it but you

 

[HowIMetYourMother]

Gringo Loch-n-Load

Level 10
Kills: 9001
-600% clip size.
+200% damage bonus.
+250% projectile speed.
+250% damage to self.
Launched bombs shatter even before the surfaces, in fact, if you shoot they already exploded

 

[Tomatketchup]

Eliminating the Impossible Deluxe
Effect: Reduces mystery solving time by 880%.

And yeah, I didn't know this was SPUF either.

 

[Uncle zägä]

GTJ 230:
+makes you want to cruise around the countryside
+no insomnia
-keeps constantly falling out of your hands

 

[Dave the Manly]

Scout
Caps points 20x faster
Movement speed > Noclip
1 health.

 

[Ivory Jubilee~]

The Corpse-Pile-Lander (?)
No random crits
-250 Hp :I
This weapon has a Melee range the size of madagascar
Gives you the speed of 50 scouts and makes you buff as fuck after killing one person

 

[Phil]

the angel mackerel
turns enemies you hit into pond fish

 

[flanky]

The Sandman v9001
+Alt-Fire: Launches 10 baseballs that stun enemies.
- 150 Health on wearer

"Check out my OP sandman! -150 HP. Ded."

 

[Sinnx]

Mini gun
-Cost 4 million dollars to fire for 12 seconds

 

[flanky]

I think I have something awesome.
Effect: 10 Sunbeams over your head
+Blinds all players who look at you
+Players within 10 feet of you will get cooked and lit on fire
+Hat is worth (Hat Value) x10 Buds
-Rape the entire TF2 economy with an insane valued hat.
Also...
Effect: 10 bonfires on your head
+Intense heat burns everyone who isn't behind a wall from you
+Melts Pyros
+Bitch Slaps Gabe Newell
+Turns game into "hell" mode, with fire and lava all around you
+Bans F2P's due to insane pricing
-Creates alot of smoke and hell around you, which is bad for the O-Zone layer!
-Instantly burns you
-Hurts your team
-Rape the above Sunbeams hat
+/- Can't be put out?

 

[Maddo]

Super scottish sticky bomb launcher.
+Can put unlimited bombs out
+Firing time decreased to 0.0001 seconds
+Jumping with bombs make you airbound for 10 minutes

-Can only detonate bombes within 2ft of enemy spawn, while standing on bomb, and with crosshair directly aimed on bomb.
-Detonation time increased to 3 seconds.

 

[flanky]

The Nuclear-izer
+Grants Thirtieth Jump, The thirtieth jump deals 100 damage when used
-300% Slower firing speed
-200% Damage vs players

 

[Lazlo]

Ali wee boobies
+250 health
The Pan screen
+200% fire damage resistance
+150% Explosive damage resistance
Can charge at people from across the map
+700% increase in charge impact damage
The Mentally challenged Bull
Does not require ammo and teammates around you get double ammo
Projectile penetrates anything in it's fucking path
Attempting to reflect this shit will make your computer explode
Deals only 200% damage to buildings (<---how the fuck is that a drawback?)

The Sydney Napper
+250% charge rate
On Hit: Jarate applied to target for 80 seconds
Not even F2P Medics with Down Syndrome with a Kritzkreig can grant you crits
Getting a Head Shot will Crash the server
Einstein's Penis
On Alt-Fire: Teleports entire team to Intelligence Room/Capture Point/ Hill
Cannot Build buildings

Darwin's condom
+250 max health on wearer
The Treesmacker
Kicks every single useless sniper off the server instead of minicritting
Fire kills you instantly even in water
The Srs bsnss
+400% Clip size
-150 damage done
Lazlo's Fists of Steel
User is Invincible when active
-200% weapon switch speed
+100% more damage from melee attacks

 

[Snotling]

Snailman's skullcutter:
+250% damage
-You cant move