If you were to be Gabe Newell

[SPYderman]

I'd add more items that are $100 on the mann co store then add a MLP hat just to get shit-tons of money from it

 

[Shiny Charizard]

I'd die of a heart disease or some other kind of eating disorder

 

[Ninja_DC]

I would watch my little pony.
Oh wait, he does that.

Also. I would make HL3

I wouldn't allow shitty weapons to be added to tf2

 

[Stachekip]

I'd dive into a pool and create a tidal wave.

 

[Ozone]

Lose weight and put the salvage stranges into regular crates and put strange grordbords victory pack in a crate.

 

[This Name Is False]

I'd stop delaying HL3. Or HL2 Ep 3. Or whatever they're going to call it....

 

[KinCryos]

add more incentives for people to waste money on keys, and troll the trading communities:

• introduce a tool that can makes any unique or stock weapon strange. rare drop (1%) out of all crates.
• automatically delete all crates that have no longer dropped for the last 3 patches and remove then from the item list,
  • the exception is salvaged crates. those will only be removed from the item list when no more exist in any inventories
• if a strange was used in the crafting of scrap or another weapon, the result will be strange.
  • if the result is a hat, it will be an unusual.
    • unusual hats used in crafting also result in unusuals, but if both have the same effect, the resulting hat will have the same effect
      • the Bonk Helm will always have the same effect as the Batter's Helmet used in its recipe
• any Bill's Hats, Earbuds, and Max's Severed Head that have never been traded will no longer be tradable or giftable, but will be upgraded to Genuine quality

 

[JarlyX]

>delay HL Episode 3.
>eat donuts and make Steam unstable and volatile
>never ever reintroduce in-game trading in TF2
>make Steam trade "safer" (slower, more trades expiring)
>don't give a shit about suggestions, bug reports etc.
>add hats and laser weapons to a game which was originally meant to be in the 50's
>other horrible things
>still get assload of money
>mfw

 

[Lord Scrambles]

- Fix the Dota 2 UI.
- Make it not look retarded
- Make it not cause FPS drops.
- Make the Hero selection screen user friendly again.
- Make the text readable

- Give Dota 2 a fucking ranking system that works.
- Add individual stats instead of just wins and losses.
- Determine a players rank and place in matchmaking from their actual skills.

- Fix the the countless crashing and freezing bugs in Dota 2.
- Make the game stable
- Release an update that fixes crashing instead of breaking the UI.

- Give people a reason to not quit matches in Dota 2.
- Actually punish people for rage quitting and abandoning. Making it so they have to wait an extra 30 seconds to find a match doesn't count.

 

[Stachekip]

I'd stop delaying HL3. Or HL2 Ep 3. Or whatever they're going to call it....

 

[DeadHerald]

Fuck no, I'm fat enough as it is.

 

[ProbeX]

 

[Ozone]

 

[Commander]

add a MLP hat

NO.

 

[DaivdBaekr]

I would start rumors of Valve completing the Half Life series and teasing it at E3 2012, then at E3 I'd start the demo with a title of "No Life Episode Three" and begin crudely drawing "I hate you all" in Microsoft Paint for twelve minutes repeatedly.

 

[DJ Über Space Whale!]

eat a cow.

 

[Ozone]

Looked at the comments of this vid and saw this:

 

[Perseus Dash Jackson]

I'd combine Half-Life 3 and Portal 3. Chell ends up meeting with Gordon. The Resistance hacks into the Combine stuff and finds out that they are going to be launching a huge attack. They also learn that GlaDOS has a special core that scientists developed in case this exact scenario happened. Unfortunately, the Combine know this and have taken over GlaDOS. Gordon and Chell fight through Aperture Science. They find GlaDOS and fill her in on what's happening. The core kicks in, but it doesn't have enough processing power to scan the Combine plan and find weak points in time. Then...Chell volunteers for her consciousness to be uploaded to GlaDOS. Their combined intelligence breaks through the Combine plan in minutes, sending their own weapons against them and destroying them.
Then, G-Man congratulates Gordon on a job well done. Fade to black.

And then? And then, you ask?

Ending theme: Giggle at the Ghostie

 

[Mewkin]

I would be 35 pounds heavier.

 

[mohawkg2]

I would be 35 pounds heavier.

So, 332.50 grams heavier?