Who is Doki and why should I care about his commands

EDIT: Need at least 16 to beat jimmy's record on dumb ratings in one post, let's go folks.
 
If there's an "Old" rating, can we incorporate a "New" rating for the newfags who don't know who le Doki is?
 
I feel like being old here for knowing who Doki is, but at the same time I'm no oldfag. :confusing:
 
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