Horror stories from the bench

Roman

Roman

Banned
Contributor
As I've mentioned in other threads, you see some pretty horrific shit when you're a PC tech. This thread is dedicated to sharing some of the best/worst tales I've encountered.

Note: Names, if used, have been changed to protect the innocent

I had a customer call me with an email problem. He couldn't send emails from Outlook. This is normally caused by someone attempting to use Outlook who didn't set it up properly. That's OK, not the end of the world. Normally you can just Google server and port settings and call it a day.

When he came in, he brought his wife and his laptop. Standard work laptop, bare-bones OS, XP. This means he's using Outlook Express. I ask him who he uses for email, and he says "AOL." Well, normally I don't fuss with AOL shit, but this is a quick fix, so whatever.

I go online, find the directions, and open Outlook. And that's when you piece everything together in a second.

Let's take a step back and go on a tangent. You know of Craigslist.org, right? Classifieds site. You can buy a car, arrange a riot, or find random people who want to fuck. When you click on their email address, it opens your default mail client--in this guy's case, Outlook Express

In his outbox (that opened by default, with his wife standing there) are a good handful of m4m emails. This guy was going online, finding gay guys that wanted to blow an older dude, and was trying to hook up. In the fastest Ctrl-A/Del movement, I got them off of the screen before they knew what was going on.

And that's the first time I saved a marriage.
 
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SgtGiraffe

SgtGiraffe

Legendary Skial King
I think the saving a marriage part is debatable I think u made it worse but do keep updating this thread with stories please
 
Crimmy

Crimmy

Australian Skial God
Contributor
I used to work at a computer store named "The Computer Store" (Ironic yes I know) I was the Xbox/Playstation technician/Storage unit organizer. Well, one day this guy comes in with a beat up old HP all in one monitor/computer monster. Those all in one monsters used for art and such that are a bitch to repair? Yea, one of those.

Anyways, He comes in with it saying it keeps overheating and he can't figure out why. We were a bit backed up so we put it on the shelf, we tell him it'll be a few hours till we can get to it and he leaves. We get to it about an hour and a half later and plug it in, Boots up fine, Logs in fine, Soon as we get to the main menu we get this screeching noise and it shuts down.

We work about fifteen minutes to get the back plate off and realize it's welded shut somehow... We do what we can to open it and all of a sudden about a pound of weed in a plastic sealed bag with the side ripped open slides out of it. Turns out the guy was planning on having someone else pick it up and use us as the middle man for a badly planned drug deal.

And that was my first wtf moment with electronics.
 
Roman

Roman

Banned
Contributor
At my old job, I was training to become the lead in the department, so I had to get more involved in the repairs and repair sales.

One day, a beautiful young woman came in. Oh, who am I kidding. She was fucking huge. Stereotypical trailer trash fatass. Tube-top, butterfly tattoos, FUPA, Crocs, the whole nine yards. She was bringing in her laptop for a warranty claim. She had the accidental damage warranty and it wouldn't turn on.

This particular laptop was an Acer with a rotating webcam on the top. It could face in or out. She had spilled something on the keyboard.

So I, being the womanizer I am, made some small talk.

"So, did you spill something delicious on here?"
"Oh yeah!"
"Did it have sugar in it?"
"No..."
"Well, how could it be delicious if it didn't have any sugar??"
"Well, different people consider different things delicious..."

I instantly chalked it up as "she came all over the keyboard" and went on about my day after pressing all of the keys in an attempt to get it to boot up while the tech did the in-take.

Later, the tech comes to me while I'm with a customer. "Dude, you'll never believe what she did to it."

In my head I'm thinking "She's a fat whore, she came all over it."

Turns out, her husband was overseas and she was "entertaining" her "friend" online when she came all over the keyboard, shorting it out.

I rubbed my hands on that keyboard trying to turn it on. I touched my face, I ate, I wiped my eyes... all after touching that keyboard.

I took the laptop into the warehouse and popped open a biohazard clean-up kit. Stuck it in an giant orange bag. Cried. Bleached my hands. Face. Tech bench. We got the box in, we shipped it out.

And the lovely people at the repair depot took pictures of the puddle of goo on the motherboard and sent it to us in glorious 4MP clarity.

And that's the story about biohazard laptop lady.
 
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Airakah

Airakah

Server-Clearing Cynic
Contributor
...how did she even get it on the keyboard...or even have enough of the stuff to break it...I just don't understand at all...
 
Ceubie

Ceubie

Gaben's Own Aimbot
Contributor
someone brought half a halo 3 disk to game-stop and asked how much they could get for it.

doubting the intelligence of the general population.
 
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