KillerZebra

2 cars crashed in Mexico on a highway. 57 died

Its awkward when a fat person sees you looking at the weight limit sign in the elevator

I work out every morning, and when I'm done I delete my browsing history.

sex is like oxygen. it's only important if you're not getting any.

An unidentified man pickpocketed a midget. Who would stoop so low?

I wonder how long it takes a giraffe to throw up.

Did you know that if you sing "we are family" over and over, you get called a disgrace and kicked out of the orphanage.

Accidentally ran over a kid wearing a John Cena shirt. But in my defense, I couldn't see him..

"Thats what" - She

If I had a nickel for every time i saw someone as beautiful as you, i would have five cents.

KillerZebras cat has fleas. everywhere. fuck fleas. my sheets are covered in them.

I was going to tell a gay joke. Butt fuck it

I've often wanted to drown my troubles, but I can't get my wife to go swimming.

You've cat to be kitten me right meow.

1+1 = 3..... if you dont use a condom

How do 5 gay guys walk? (in One Direction)